I think im going to throw up on grandma
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
