If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
it's like heaven, but drunker
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize