yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
You can't special order awesome
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
