3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
