I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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