I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
