Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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