What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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