would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just want to make out with him forever
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
