he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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