i think my mom watched the whole time
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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