I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
