I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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