I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
