The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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