Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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