It's Friday. Sex?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
