It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
