You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
