Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry f_u_rick_scott hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(424): View more from California

I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed

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(518): View more from New York

As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.

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(904): View more from Florida

my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.

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(971): View more from Oregon

I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now

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(912): View more from Georgia

I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.

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(858): View more from California

Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip

(858): View more from California

It's the little things

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(408): View more from California

I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.

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