fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
