Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
