I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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