peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
cat food counts as protein by the way
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
