ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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