Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
