at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
