the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
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