there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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