wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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