he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
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i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
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Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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