so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
