Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
