I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I have post one night stand depression
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