either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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