sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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