take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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