you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
