Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
