could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
