Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
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And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
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You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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