Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
