I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
