My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
