i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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