So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
tell me about the fingering
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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