omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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