Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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