No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
