He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
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clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
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He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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