I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
