We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
