No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
my poor anus
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
