6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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