WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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