I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
