NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
