Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
