The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
