Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
