He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
