his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
