id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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