its not stalking. its research.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
