He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
