you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
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